BASANTI CS: There was a time when parenting was simple. Parents provided for children, set clear expectations, and discipline was part of the process. Praise was rare, resources were limited, and children had limited exposure to the outside world.

However, parenting today is quite different. In the last 5–6 years alone, the parenting landscape has undergone a tremendous shift. The reality is, many parents today are stretched thin. They’re pressed for time by work, or distracted by social media and it directly impacts children at home.

These days, children live in a reality where:

• A 4 or 5-year-old can name dinosaurs, car brands, or countries and capitals.
• Their proficiency in spoken English often amazes adults.
• With access to resources, their knowledge sometimes feels beyond their age.

Parents feel proud when their child speaks fluently, uses advanced vocabulary, or shows off impressive facts. When this becomes a new normal, it sets a different precedent in terms of what we should expect from children. While this is delightful, we must pause and ask-what about social and emotional milestones?

Some parents say, “I am not worried if my child doesn’t learn much. As long as he is happy to come to school, that’s enough.”

But is happiness alone enough? Will it prepare the child for the demands of later grades? Young children often struggle with anything that requires rigour and depth. The moment learning stops being entertaining, they tend to give up. And this is a common trait across age groups.

Yet, learning-whether reading, writing, or math-requires patience, focus, and resilience. These are the foundational traits for learning. These are not innate traits; they must be nurtured early on. Without these, learning anything will feel burdensome.

The key questions parents must ask:

• Can my child play with a group of friends for 15-20 minutes?
• Can he share toys, books, or food?
• Can he wait for his turn?
• Can he accept “no” without a meltdown?
• Does he talk about friends, likes, and dislikes?
• Does he show empathy when a peer gets hurt?

Most of these do not develop by default, but by design. Parents play a crucial role in teaching and modelling them.

In my interaction with parents, I see three broad patterns:

• Unmonitored parenting: Where children use gadgets, consume videos or other content without parental supervision.
• Over-structured parenting: Where every detail: what to eat, wear, study, or who to befriend, is decided entirely by parents.
• Mindful parenting: Where parents strike a balance: monitoring resources, balancing print media with digital media, and creating routines that allow freedom within structure.

Children of the first two groups often show attention and behavioral issues. Children of the third group, however, develop stronger social and emotional readiness. They are better able to focus, engage, and thrive in school.

When children grow up in an environment where mindful discipline is missing, the result? A shaky foundation that shows up as:

• Attention issues
• Inability to focus on tasks
• Low resilience
• Emotional instability
• Lack of motivation to excel

For true learning to happen in school, children must first come ready to learn. This readiness is not about rattling out country capitals or dinosaur names. It is about:

• Sitting with a group, sharing, and waiting for a turn.
• Being happy with friends.
• Listening with curiosity.
• Regulating emotions. Using words rather than pushing, hitting or throwing tantrums.
• Building resilience through practice and persistence.

Too often, children who are celebrated endlessly at home struggle when placed in a classroom of 25 peers. Suddenly, they are one among many, and they don’t like it. Add to this the rigour of structured learning, and no wonder it could feel overwhelming.

What can parents do?

• Be a role model: Read a book, solve a puzzle, nurture a plant. Show children what focus and patience look like.
• Increase human interaction: Encourage conversations, playdates, and family activities. Children learn social cues by watching adults and practising them. Engage with the community where you stay. Talk to your neighbours. Show children how relationships are built and sustained.
• Teaching them soft skills: Teaching what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour at a wedding, a mall, a grocery shop, a clinic, or a restaurant. How to interact with people when you need something, how to sit, eat or dispose of trash. Show them that soft skills are important.
• Balancing celebration with discipline: Praise effort, not just outcomes. Help children see that persistence is as important as brilliance.

Children today come to school with immense knowledge, but knowledge alone is not enough. To thrive, they need resilience, focus, empathy, and the ability to engage with others. These skills grow best when nurtured both at home and at school. 

 

• This was written by BASANTI CS [Head of Early Primary Years at Mighty Oaks Campus]